insecurity.

greetings people who for some reason inexplicably keep reading my ramblings. Iloveyoupleasedontgoaway


sooo yesterday this dude who kinda sorta asked me out in a roundabout way mentioned how confident I seem and I laughed. me? confident? hah! that's funny, good one. no confidence here, just my determination to be myself no matter how much people despise who I am.

I'm pretty sure everyone Is insecure. I can't imagine not being. When guys act like they like me I automatically think they're just having pity on the ugly girl. or I just stand there incredulously wondering why on earth they seem to genuinely like me.  Still not sure why you people stick around. still not sure why my cat hasn't killed me or why people seem to take my advice. NO IDEA WHY PEOPLE READ MY STUFF.  I hate every word I type but I've learned that people tend to like the ones I hate so I post them anyway. I think I'm just being human in this insecurity but my gosh- if that's the case then BEING HUMAN SUCKS! SO BAD! Questioning every word wondering what their hidden motive is, assuming they're lying about liking any part of my existence. it sucks. I want to be a cat so bad. Those puffballs think they are the king of the floating rock! how nice to have a smidgen of that confidence..


yup. two posts in one day because  a friend read my story and liked it and I was freaked out. And my seminary teacher said she liked my laugh and my singing voice in one day and this happened inside my brain.

shes just saying it why would she like your voice you've got an awful laugh and your singing voice doesn't even count as singing don't even kid yourself shes just saying that to make you feel good its a lie don't believe it!"


and I realized how annoying my brain is. the end.