Two posts in one night.. That's never good

So.. I'm having a night of insecurities tonight. Laughing at how stupid I am to think a guy would ever like me. Like seriously, I'm shocked I even have friends how do I ever expect to have a guy tolerate me? I'm not cute, I'm mean and rude and my family is screwed up so that no one wants to be around me.  There's like literally not a single thing I can think of that would make me even remotely tolerable to a dude. I'm mean and blunt, I'm not attractive in the slightest and I've got little to no talent. I'm lazy and selfish and stubborn and bratty and unclean, what little note able attributes I have come to me probably once or twice a month! No one would want me, he'd never want me who was I kidding.

Ah this night frickin sucks. I'm so depressed and weepy and there's no one to talk to and my notepad app is broke so I can't even type this there. It's been a good day, where'd this come from? I'm so bummed out and it's taking a toll on my body now. My muscles are tightening and I feel sick to my stomach.  Ugh I gotta go watch something sad so these tears will come out and I can move on with my day

stuffs of stuffinesss-ness

I know I haven't mentioned my viewers in a while, but that doesn't mean I don't notice y'all.
ALL FIVE HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO OF YOU BEAUTIFUL CREATURES!!!
...What. No. It's a lie. No way. What. How. Who would wanna hear my random nonsense? ....A bunch of ya apparently. Holy crap. Now's the part where usually I subtley(not subtle at all) plea that you comment and lemme know your thoughts, but I'm too lazy to do that so I'll keep going to some other things.


I have nothing really spectacular to put on here. Stuff happened in life, but it's not worth typing up.  I'm struggling to write, despite having countless ideas hit me. This super sweet zombie apocalypse half-siblings-bonding-as-the-world-ends-through-murder , I have the scene and the script in my mind and yet I go to type- or even write it out- and my mind goes blank. IT's only during a conversation with some random bystander that inspiration strikes and makes me trail off midsentence :P

The one with a bunch of rebels without a cause(but with AMAZING hair) invading a charity ball and tearing a place up just for the heck of it, I need a sequel of them getting lovey dovey while they blow cash that they stole but my fluffy meter is dangerously low.

The one where a chick goes exploring around a junkyard and ends up meeting a hobo and befriending(friends for now) him. I was walkingthrough a junkyard and I felt like I was being watched the entire time, so I wondered what would happen if the watcher person turned out to be a not particularly ugly male specimen with a snarky sense of humor :3 Cuz no matter how much child abuse, rape stories I write I'm just a teenage girl who very much appreciates a good hunk once in a while ^_^


For example- observe this GORGEOUS screenshot that came from the Just give me a reason music video

Oh yeah. the perfect sexy smirk. XD


Lets see what was I saying before I spoke of hunks? oh right. story ideas and no capability of writing @_@

I'm doing one called the otherworld isn't so far away. Basically every person in my family has at least one experience they talk about at get togethers involving the supernatural. some have seen things, ive been physically attacked, and all those gorgeous tales are going to be put on there. So far theres only one, a story of when something was in my house for months and months. I couldn't produce any poeticness so its about as poorly narrated as a goose talking about....well anything. I went blank on that analogy :P

At least once every few months I absolutely have to have a neko roleplay or story going. I think out of my 85 stories uploaded, 5 are kitty-people. There's Here Kitty Kitty which is some science experiments escape blah blah blah roleplay. There's Out of the cage which is my character Ivo the catchick not quite ready to accept that she's a pet yet. She hates humans and gives her owner a pretty hard time. Now there's a new one, Ame. I don't know why but I'm on a sibling-bonding story kick. The zombie one with a chick and little boy and this one with two catboys in a world where cat people are from satan and must be eliminated. ive got a lot of ideas for it, but only got one bloody paragraph. barely even a paragraph. 70 frickin words. UGH @_@ THIS IS KILLING MEEEEE


I think im gonna just sit down and write until something decent comes out, send every piece of crap I create to Lily-chan for inspection until something good is produced.

For now I'm off to watch Mall Cop. If theres anyone out there that hasn't seen this movie, wait till you're in the mood for a comedy and go observe Paul Blart's blunders :3
"Ah peanut butter, fills the cracks of the heart. Go away pain"

Please enjoy this special presentation as I upload whatever is on my desktop for the whole internet to see!