Hot Neighbor, Mauled by a Bear, Making fun of Sparta dude soldier thing dude...

Hello my fluffies, how are you doing today? Good? Fabulous! Bad? Stop by for cocoa and a long chat about anything :)

Soooo the house next to us belonged to a old lady,her husband and their little teeny dogs that scare me worse than pitbulls. They were super sweet and if something ever happened I was to go to them(like when I got locked out and a dude in a truck freaked me out). Well that's not gonna happen now since... like within a week they have moved. When my family moves it takes a whole summer or longer. When these little old people and grandkids move its Monday to Thursday and the for rent sign comes up.

Soooo my mom had to get blood drawn by the multiple quartfulls. My fear of shots is the more dramatic version of her fear of blood so my dad came down to keep her calm and make sure she didn't pass out. I stayed home.
Well they got home right around sundown. mom comes in, I'm helping her to the couch when a huuuuge crashing noise comes from outside. I bolt out in my pjs and see my dad talking to someone in the backyard of our neighbors house. It's a big wood fence so I cant see but I listen and "ooooh that's a cute dudes voice!" I start boosting myself up to sit on the fence and see who dad is talking too. In my head I'm going "just watch this be some incredibly creepy old man with a young dudes voice"
I peer over and....Oh my.

Looking back at me is green eyes blond hair- looking like a celtic thunder bandmember.  Not supermodel looks but I don't need supermodel looks to appreciate a good thing when I see it. Apparently the tree in that yard is filled with like..tree cancer idek. He was just raking leaves when a huge branch fell on the shed over there! My dad checked to make sure everyone was okay.
Once I see mister lovely I run inside(text everyone that theres a hot guy next door and ill be back in a bit and tell mom), change into jeans and a longsleeve top and actually put on shoes. I get back there and dad has gone in that backyard to help inspect the damage. Naturally they'll need my fifteen year old fangirling assistance so I tag along. And try not to stare.
Turns out its a dude named Will.  Me and mom both responded with "mmmm that's a good boys name :3 "
He's going into the military or something some kind of soldier thing in a few months AND HE IS MOVING RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO MOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PRAISE HEAVENS!!!! A HOLY ANGEL HAS FALLEN THROUGH THE CLOUDS AND LANDED RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!

 

 

 

Yup. Every one of those fit me. I wonder how quickly he could produce the restraining order if he ever found my blog...hehehehehe

 

 

 

Moving on *coughcough*

 

SOOOOOOOOOOO Everyone has seen the whole THIS IS SPARTA meme everywhere correct? Correct.  Well I watched the Honest Trailer of that movie, 300 and I felt like watching it at random.  I'm gonna do a full review some other day. I wanted to do a full one but I realized I have to be watching it as I write in order to give you a good review for this one. A quick piece I do remember wanting to mention is how he suddenly gains a Scottish accent, how out of nowhere hardrock appears. no music and then boom rock music. How there is no good guy in this movie. AND HOW WEIRD THE DIALOGUE IS! He said Hellofa, he used modern day dialogue multiple times that threw me off. There was even a point at the beginning when I was sooo sure he was about to say Come At me Bro!

Yup. If you don't like completely uncensored nudity, dudes in thongs running around wanting to get killed and a sarcastic dude with the ugliest axe murderer beard I ever did see- this is not the movie for you. If you enjoy lots of gay innuendos while also constantly mentioning the wife and the women, every single human being seen only as a sex object, and ruthless killers then by all means have at it.

But let me just throw in this: You abuse children so they learn to not show fear, you teach them to be heartless, no mercy, and to follow their instincts and you're shocked when a rapist is born?! Wowwww I thought the Spartans were known for their wisdom and big brains(and abs)

 

 

 

 

Sooo today I went to the Y M CA! A lady in our church gave us a visitors pass. My first instinct was to swim. I was in my old swimsuit but it still looks sizzling hot so I didn't care one bit. I get in the pool room and realize theres a massive pool filled with at least a hundred children. And two lifeguards who were not ugly(IYKWIM)

Theres not an empty spot anywhere! I finally get in because I feel self conscious just standing there. I got a massive bruise from running into the side of the table a few days back and the bruise was still there while I was there and I felt nervous because my not yet tan body is white as a sheet and then a few inches above the knee BAM! Frickin looks like I got mauled by a bear! Either that or some demon hickey. I dunno, it was huge and black against my white and ughhhh I really wanted to get In the water where people couldn't see it.

 I finally get a spot and because I cant dive, cant race cant do diddly I end up spending two hours either only swimming with my hands or only swimming with my feet in a tiny portion of the pool. It was fun, my body is sore from it because the strain it puts when you fight against the water to stay afloat. But I've been doing this with my family anytime we spot so much as a puddle so I adjusted relatively fast and it was fun in the end.

After that I get out and walk on the treadmill for an hour. It was a steady pace, none of that uphill incline crap that hurts me it was just enough to make me tired. I brought headphones and watched two episodes of Friends while I walked and honestly after walking a little bit I got so engrossed in the show that I didn't have to think about my legs and I didn't realize how longI was walking for. It was fun.

Yup. That's all I felt like mentioning today. I'll rewatch 300 and review it fully later. For now its 1:23 in the morning and I need to work on writing Eve a little before I sleep so I'm gonna go work on that.

I give unto you whatever the heck is on my desktop. If there are cuss words in anything I sincerely apologize

 

 

Once upon a time.

(this ones quite the strange post but I gotta get it out and I think I've got a way to do it. And I've been at my aunt's farmhouse so expect this to be redneck-ified)

Once upon a time a young lady was born from the nicest woman ever to walk the planet. After a while she married the highschool hunk and they started their lives together. Their first kids were twins but the little boy was strangled by the ambilical cord and never saw his first sunrise. The girl made it, and later on they had another girl. The older one was a good kid, obedient and sweet and well mannered. She did the right things but no matter what it was never enough for her momma. Her entire life she strived to do right by others and her entire life she was never good enough in their eyes.
The oldest daughter went on to get married to a man her momma set her up with, who she barely knew more than a few months. Then the moment they were together the momma realized she didn't like em together and spent her every waking moment trying to tear them apart. The oldest daughter had a girl and from the infants first scream her granmomma was convinced her parents weren't doing good enough in their job and that she should take the child away. She tried countless ways, got the police involved several times. It was chaos and the oldest daughter couldn't figure out why her momma couldn't let her raise her own child. couldn't figure out where shed done wrong.
The child grew older and the oldest daughter fought like mad to keep her child, but also to make sure the child had grandparents. It was hard and awful. The grandmomma went more than a little crazy, saying awful things to everyone around her and driving them all away-then wondering why nno one came to visit no more. Then right after that she had a stroke and everyone she'd hurt had to put that aside to assist her in her time of hour. Had to put away all their hurt and they rallied around her despite all she'd ever done. Her health was awful for years. She was bedridden and hospitalized. IT got to the point she was writing her will and everyone had said their last goodbyes.
Then one day the grandmommma gets really well really fast. She's able to go home, able to feed herself and hold her own books and sit up on the side of the bed for the first time in years.
Her entire family is coming to see her on spring break and finally see her doing well.
They get there and what does she do?? Does she embrace her family crying for all shes done wrong? No and we didn't expect that. But we also didn't expect for her to accuse the oldest daughter of letting me be molested by my father as a child either.

Yup. Bet that blindsided yall as much as it did us. Here's how it went down.

The grandparents made awful money choices their entire lives. They never once planned for the future and so when my grandpa had to quit his job, when all these medical bills started piling in they were sitting with not a shiny penny to their names. The kids had tried forever to warn them but they never listened. Then they were right and the grandparents asked their younger daughter who had money out the whazoo for her to give them two hundred dollars every month forever. she didn't even say no. she said she'd have to talk with her husband, but she was frustrated for obvious reasons that they were in such a mess. The grandmother didn't take this too well. She hadn't even been rejected, her daughter just hadn't jumped up and said "oh yes mother whatever you wish!" and she threw a tantrum. The youngest daughter and her kids left, leaving behind me and my momma who was staying another day. We were baking brownies, momma went to say goodnight to her momma. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes passed. I stayed to watch the brownies and figured she'd just started chatting away. Then the yelling started. I got frustrated and stormed outside to sit on the backporch and wait for it to be over. I could hear it on the porch. I go pacing to the field and I CAN HEAR IT IN THE FIELD. Beyond ticked off I go to the window outside where they're at, because if I'm gonna hear them I'm gonna hear enough that I know whats going on. And it blew me away what nonsense they spewed at my momma. Bringing up that she wasn't there when grandmomma got out of the hospital. What that really means is that right before going into the hospital she cussed out my momma, said she never wanted to see her again and then hung up. Then got out of the hospital and was upset that her daughter wasn't there for her. GEE I WONDER WHY.
On and on bringing up stuff from twenty years ago, claiming I said all kinds of things that my daddy did to me when we were on this family trip. I was like 4 years old. And now at 15 she decides to confront my mother with accusations that I was being molested?! If it happened then why didn't she say something the moment it supposedly happened?! All kinds of nonsense and screaming and shouting and I'm looking in through the blinds at my grandpa just sitting there listening to it happen. Listening as this woman cusses out my momma, accuses her of all sorts of horrible things and then demands that we- who can barely buy our own milk- give them the money.
It was ridiculous and after a while of this madness I finally realized this would never end if they kept up and I went in there and told momma the brownies were done.
ME and my momma have a lot of issues. A lot of the time I think theres not a single thing I can do that will be good enough. But when she came in sobbing about how awful her momma was to her I stopped caring that she threw a fit when towels were left in the bathroom floor. She's my momma and we fight but in the end its us against the world.



And that was the spring break eve weekend. Who knows what madness will happen in the actual spring break.  All I know for certain is that we watched the voice that night, and then  left at the buttcrack of dawn  the next day and we wont be back there anytime soon. If ever a woman should be told to go suck a sock it should be my grandmomma.

and they all lived happily ever after. except...not really.


THE END~~~~

Somebody make my life into a Disney movie, seriously.

SO LITTLE TIME

k so two random things before I get into the actual topic.
(btw, appreciate my effort for writing this because every sound of a key getting pressed is one step closer to getting grounded again- but im risking it for you people who don't even care about me/read this crap)


Watching danisnotonfire videos for multiple hours(don't you judge me) when suddenly a commercial pops up for Nyquil. now, I happen to love that a medicine exists just to make you sleep. of course, my body is completely whackand so Nyquil and Benadryl wake me up, but I still appreciate the gesture. Then they make a creepy lady come into some pretend couples bedroom to whisper something along the lines of "we'll give you something to turn your brain off" (it rhymed in the commercial. I tried finding the video to put it on here but no one has uploaded it on youtube yet (YOU DISAPPOINT ME INTERNETTERS!!!)

Seriously. ohymgosh. I get the idea. everyone has had nights when their brain starts wondering what caterpillars evolved from and question their reason for living and can't sleep. I get the idea. but me, being the messed up freak that I am- heard this "with this we'll give you a drug that you can buy anywhere that will slowly turn your brain off little by little until you are a mindless slave to the government and/or vampires."



....and I don't rememeber the second thing. OH! yes I do!

Soooo my friend Kali was sobbing because she failed at helping her guy out with Kennings. I felt stupid at first when I realized I have no idea what that is- but then realized my public school teacher hasn't heard of it before either, was forced to google!


Kennings are strongly associated with Old Norse and later Icelandic and Anglo-Saxon poetry. For example, Old Norse poets might replace "sword", with a more abstract compound such as "wound-hoe" or a genitive phrase such as randa iss "ice of shields".
- See more at: http://www.kenningexamples.

And me and my mom and Kali spent the next [unknown amount of time] laughing at WOUND HOE!
So yes. if ever you're feeling down, just remember that some old norse poet replaced sword with wound-hoe. Now on to more serious topics



Am I the only person who has zero time- but then when I have time I forget all the things I need to be doing?

I'll have a day with nothing planned----and rather than doing all those things I need to do, ill sleep or eat or watch anime nonstop. that's great and all. but when you've got school, church stuff, writing stuff, roleplaying stuff, online digital worlds stuff, homework stuff, keeping up with youtubers stuff, finding a job/getting a driver's permit stuff, having a social life stuff, keeping the house relatively not horrific stuff-- my brain kinda explodes. Oh! and then add boys to the mix. And frickin demonic noises outside my bedroom(my night was fit for a horror movie---that ill tell another time since im sleepy)

ALL THAT STUFF! THEN MY BODY DECIDES TO BETRAY ME AND LEAVE ME WOUNDED AND WEAK. THEN  DAD DECIDES TO COME DOWN AND KEEP ME COMPANY DESPITE MY PROTESTS(when im sick im in a don't touch me don't blink at me don't breath in my prescence or ill go for the jugular mood. he breaths In my prescence)
I loooove daddio- despite all the screwed up crap. but when moms stressed, im sick(which does not mean cuddle it means touch me and you die) and you wanna spend a day sitting around cuddling then we have an issue. id love to cuddle! ANOTHER DAY! like lets find a day when 12 people aren't waiting for me to write something fantastic, when people don't want to talk to me, when im not coughing up a lung, when I don't have spring break tests(satan came up with that idea in case you were not aware). AND THEN when im finally brought back from the brink of death and am frantically trying to scramble and make up for lost time(TWO DAYS PLUS A WEEK OF BEING GROUNDED I HAVE THINGS TO FRICKIN DO!) and he wants to dance around the house to say something im giving up on you. and then wants to tell me how to do chores. and tell me that my room is messing(NO! REALLY? I hadn't noticed! And then wonder why I ask him what time he has to be back at his place. because, no offense father dearest but theres a pretty well developed schedule around here and when you step it all just goes in the toilet.




Oh! and can I just say- hearing that we'll go book shopping and knife shopping and go eat food that didn't come out of a can--I was on cloud nine. I was scrolling through my internal list of books to buy, food to try, knives to buy. WHEN SUDDENLY "No buying books today, just looking."(THEN DONT GET ME THINKING YOURE TREATING ME TO A BOOK!)
Bookstores are not like they once were-when piano music played soothingly in the background an you can find a spot and delve into an alternate universe. Nowadays they have music that's meant to tick you off so much that you dnt wanna stay, so you'll buy the book and leave instead of sitting and reading.. so "just looking" isn't possible in my brain. that fetching music. demi lavato. seriously? I am trying to learn the history of tattoos I do not need her Disney tainted sickness seeping through the speakers(im proud of that sentence)
And now learning tat my breathing atm machine(nope jk I actually am not usually that type of daughter) is suddenly saying no buying books---It broke a little piece of me off and fed it to the piranha that hides in my soggy slipper.  So we stay at the bookstore for a while, then our stomachs are grumbling. We leave and i'm ogling all the places, waiting to hear "okay so what type of food are you in the mood for?" and he just keeps driving and im like uhhhh dad food is that way. "oh we're not eating out today." THEN DONT TELL ME WE"LL EAT OUT TODAY! TRAITOR!
Theeeen we go home, mom needs us to run errands and I haven't gotten my knife yet so we're gonna go to ace hardware(they have epic knives dude.)
And we get there for whatever we need but also for knives, we ask the guy to open it up and let us hold this one. It's a long switchblade, its got a ring right where your pointing finger naturally sits that your finger goes through so you don't drop the blade(like those girls trying to defend themselves against rapists in the movies) and its orange and has a black blade like I love and its SO ME and im loving this thing more than ive loved any human ever---when dad puts it in its wrapper, in the box. he hands it to the guy, "says thanks a lot" and walks out. And I shed some tears. And was bummed for the next three hours. This was the most anticlimactic day ever. im bummed just thinking of my gorgeous pointy lover still stacked in the dark corners of the cabinet, begging to stab something, begging to be held in a warm supple hand. BUT NO. HE BETRAYED ME NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT THREE TIMES YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU'RE OUT!
D'8

by the third one I was so depressed my food was like plastic and I just sat around like

 

 

Yup. Then I listened to Dan and got amused(never watch something that funny when you're supposedly asleep. its not fun biting your lip to keep from laughing and getting a snort instead)

and now im writing this and im bored and gots stuffs to do so ima go now.

 

if you feel like commenting im not opposed to viewing your words. if not, I will not cry....

 

 

goodnight, have fun sleeping in a sleeping bag which is basically a bears version of a soft taco.

 

farewell

 

Two posts in one night.. That's never good

So.. I'm having a night of insecurities tonight. Laughing at how stupid I am to think a guy would ever like me. Like seriously, I'm shocked I even have friends how do I ever expect to have a guy tolerate me? I'm not cute, I'm mean and rude and my family is screwed up so that no one wants to be around me.  There's like literally not a single thing I can think of that would make me even remotely tolerable to a dude. I'm mean and blunt, I'm not attractive in the slightest and I've got little to no talent. I'm lazy and selfish and stubborn and bratty and unclean, what little note able attributes I have come to me probably once or twice a month! No one would want me, he'd never want me who was I kidding.

Ah this night frickin sucks. I'm so depressed and weepy and there's no one to talk to and my notepad app is broke so I can't even type this there. It's been a good day, where'd this come from? I'm so bummed out and it's taking a toll on my body now. My muscles are tightening and I feel sick to my stomach.  Ugh I gotta go watch something sad so these tears will come out and I can move on with my day