beanie babies, cousins, aunts, rawr

Blogging take 1 ACTION

*high pitched nasally annoying voice that my mind thinks is what my laptop sounds like if it spoke*  "Your battery is running low"

*me growling like a freak* Grrrrrr frickin thing. I love you but I've never had something this slow except my ipod that died between every message.I swore I wasn't ever going back to such a low place in my life and then you happen and I love you but wow your battery sucks"


Take two ACTION

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHMYGOSH I HAVE HICCUPS!!! >_< hURTS SO BAD OHMYGOSH WHUT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? COUGHING,SNEEZING AND NOW SUPER PAINFUL HICCUPS THAT LIKE HURT ALL THE WAY INTO MY TOES HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN? >_<


Take three ACTION

oh you've only had that laptop for three days? cool well how bout we just DROP SOME PUDDING ON THE KEYS!!!!!!!

*keyboard screams* noo! not pudding! anything but pudding!

*puddings evil laughter* mwuahahahaahahahaha

me at 2 am ._.


soooo yeah. its 2 am. almost 3 actually. im laying here staring around my room and can I just tell you- my room is awful. not like the cute kind of messy. We're talking days of coming home, packing, going to hospital, get home, throw everything in a pile. we're talking enormous piles of handmedowns that I don't have hangers to put them up so tehyre like almost as big as me and spilling over. we're talking snot rag central ever since I got sick. we're talking the bedding is so mixmatched. we got a butterfly quilt thing that doesn't hold in heat hardly at all that's all torn up from the decades that we've had it. we got the bottom sheet thingy that's all red white and blue and looks like a kaleidoscope and then a sleeping bag that can keep you warm in like antartica weather-but not our house when the heater breaks (-_-) and I love my room. like Ive never in my whole life had a bedroom that wasn't too girly(went on vacation, come back my grandma has barbiefied my bedroom) or too creepy(haunted house at the beach. loooong story). I mean sure there was a suicide in this house. sure the ghost still manages to scare the wazz outta me sometimes. but nah. its all worth it cuz I adore adore ADORE my room! Until now. now I walk in am like -ugh its filthy but I don't wanna clean it- and walk out.


OKAY now let me start at the beginning because my brain is going ninety to nothing. Did I ever talk about my Christmas parties? *scrolls back through* no I didn't. coulda sworn I did.

My aunt... Hilda _huehuehue_ always throws these huge parties. well this year the food was bad, the kids were evil, I went outside to talk to lily and basically my leg got raped by a dog...a lot of times. and I hate hitting animals(my cat would beg to differ) so I was kick giving the nicest kicks to the groin you possibly could give. ended up using my jacket as a whip and spanking the mutt then hiding in the bed of a truck till he went off into the fields. boo yah. the dog whisperer would be so proud.
Then I go in and my aunts are telling stories of the wildest things that happened when they were drunk. Waking up in a florida bathtub(WHAT?!), puking 17 feet down. begging people on the street to give them tattoos. it was hilarious but at the same time its ironic. these are the people that critizise how mom raised me. one aunt(that no one really likes) literally said to mom "you should change how you raise her or she'll rebel and end up walking down the road in a string bakini!" ... very long story. very very long story that you had to be there to understand. And then the first person to leave, she said bye and that same aunt called out "bye sugar! we wont be talking about you after you leave!" ...I'd like to blame that on the wine but honestly I think the wine would make her a more decent person. wow. really. like I know you gossip but could you not announce that you're about to judge them? wow. just wow. Oh and *pfft!* Hilda's kid. so hilda gave me a stuffed kitty when I was little. then me-being the nice kiddo I once was- gave the kitty to her kid when her firstborn was born. well I go to this party, im looking for the midgets cuz ive had enough of drunken adults and I find my old kitty- squished beneath this enormous dollhouse. it takes me and six boy midgets to get the dollhouse up and I snatch up my kitty and... yeah. I- the stuffed animal police- confiscated Jacki-Jacks from the abusive foster parents and return her to her permanent home. until I give it to a kid who will appreciate it. ohmygosh I just googled beanie babies and... wow. it takes a lot of different kinds of people to make up this world. wow. anyway. this is Jacks and she Is mine once more! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

so much cuter in person. rawr.ohmygosh. beanie babies. so cute. I think im in love. just found my new obsession ohmygosh! ohmygosh so many memories that I had long forgotten awwwww!!!!back in the nightlight years.


OHMYGOSH guys so its like 3 am and on my text app account I just got a text and I just like hear the ding and instantly like my heart starts racing and I feel like a person in a horror movie or something 0-0 so I read it and its this number that looks familiar but theres no name to anyone but mom and farmboy on my text app so I couldn't be sure. but there was zero history of previous texts on this number. theyre acting nice and im kinda trying to give the benefit of the doubt because ive been trying to get in touch with.... what did I call him on here....*justw ent through old blog posts* Benny. Bennyboo. Bennybopper. Idek. I wished him merry Christmas and never got an answer so a part of me was like oh maybe this is his old number. then the person is like not saying their name or who theyre trying to get in touch with and im like yeah no. benny would be like hey you psychotic freak why do you not know who I am? This is not him or anyone I know. and they were being all nice and im just like super blunt give me a name then we'll talk. and their name is john. nope. no one named john knows this number. "oops just talked to my friend they changed numbers" riiiiiiight. I could be some insanely paranoid freak who's being mean to a person who really has been trying to get in touch with their friend. or I could be a person who's not in the mood for dealing with strangers at 3 am. you decide. 

where was I.

oh yes. then me and mom go home, watch some SVU(my mom likes sexual crime shows too?! who knew!!!! except she cant handle graphic. I don't think its legit unless its graphic :/ ) then head to bed. I don't remember what all happened but

my mom has staph infection. on her butt. and I have to bandage and clean it and- no joke- I cried every time I had to do it. im not a wuss. im not afraid of blood and ive seen more butts than im happy with. but I cried. and cried. and wailed. and sobbed. and called Lily and sobbed to her that no matter how much blood doesn't effect me ill never be a nurse. and she comforted me-but then I had to do it for more days. until yesterday when I suddenly became so sick that a killer butt pimple was suddenly second to me. but yah. traumatized. repeatedly. it was awful. awful. terrible. and she's been in such a mood because of it. ive been there, had it so I know her pain. but she woulda grounded my pimple'd butt if I said the stuff she said! grrrrr I hate how adult can get away with words that kids would get in trouble for -_-

sooooo a doctors appointment later(OH AND I WENT TO HER SCHOOL BUT IM TOO LAZY TO BLOG ABOUT IT TODAY I WILL LATER) we're driving to my dad's parents place(he lives there right now). somehow getting in and out of the car is the most painful thing ever for poor mama. she cried and cried. and cried. and then lashed out and im already a wreck from seeing her cry like that. then she gets aggressive and yells and I just break down. and the whole drive I pretty much sobbed about how mad I was at my cousin. so so mad. and my dad-for...just everything. and should I even do this? act like everything's okay when its clearly not? and all this stuff. ive never cried consecutively for such a long time. and especially not to mom. I cried to lily when I confessed my darkest secret to her. then sobbed that same day-about an hour later when I revealed it to farmboy. but never to mom. then we get there, watch the play which is a Christmas carol(scrooge). ive watched that play every christmsa for fifteen years. this year everyone had mixed feelings. I thought it sucked. mom liked a lot of it but didn't like other parts. I didn't like scrooge- he was either too nice or too overly dramatic and it annoyed me. I didn't like a single one of the ghosts. I didn't like pretty much anybody except the funny guys with canes. and another thing-scrooge as a boy is this adorable black boy. then its like he hits his twenties and BAM! WHITE BOY! he grew out of his poorness and became white! I remember one of the years, the same guy that played the ghost of Christmas present this year played scrooge. funny black guy but can be really mean sounding if that's his role. if the kid is black then let his older self be black too! weirdos. OH! and another thing! Tiny tim, the little crippled boy. he was a girl. and I almost didn't care about that. mom did. but I cared more with the fact that she didn't have a crutch, her limp was nonexistent. I loved tiny tim last year. this year it was like who is this crossdressing imposter?!

get to the house, all the cousins are there. including the one that im upset with. before the food is even blessed I bring her to a bedroom and try to be all mean with "ill never tell you a secret again you betrayed me" and then she goes "I screwed up bigtime didn't I" and im like yeah and it took me forever to compose myself. but by the end of it we were hugging and I realized I cant be mad at someone I love so much. by the end of the night I loved her just like before :)

PRESENTS!

soooo my family draws names and whoever gets whoevers names buys for that person. we got that cousin. I was upset so I made my dad go buy her some art supplies and stuff. she loved it. my aunt got my name and got me this epic perfume that's from the love kills slowly brand. I think. or maybe that's this collection. idk. im confused now but whatever. it smells divine and its decorated to look like all kinds of tattoos and I love it! my dad got me a disco ball and a lamp that looks like liquid spilling out of a cup. my entire family-on both sides was planning to pitch together and get me a laptop. my grandma gave me fifty bucks and I got all excited to buy books with it but mom said it was going to my laptop. yay laptop but... I want some books. :/ oh and a super sexy jacket that's three sizes too small and mom threw a fit about how theyre the worst present givers ever about. uhhhhh they always give stocking stuffers and this year its a huge stocking-with a massager thing and a flashlight. im quite certain every kid made the same the-heck-is-this-face when we opened it. ill discuss my opinion on it later. the cousin I was upset with got the rise of the guardian story books and we read them and drew together and played video games and fangirled and just had a blast. then everyone left and only one cousin-guy cousin was left. he's an idiot and a midget who thinks every girl in the world wants him. lol no. ive literally had to apologize because girls come up to me and are like your cousin stalked us throughout this entire activity, your cousin is creeping us out. I like have to apologize for him all the time. so he's sitting in his car and I get in and we're watching twerking fails and all this stuff and it was just so much fun. he's a freak and we have like zero in common but somehow I think im one of the very few people in this world that truly gets him and is there for him. even if my besty wants to murder him for sitting in her lap in front of her boyfriend. even if I have to apologize my entire life for being related to him. I get him.


k so get home. trauma. cry. moms upset because she's contagious so unless she's better she wont get to see her mom on Christmas. whenever im sick or hurting I just want to be completely alone. like if mom would do it id tell her go out go buy yourself something nice and come back in three days when im better. because I say the meanest things when im sick and its better not to have anyone around that will get offended. when moms sick she cries that she wants her mom. so knowing that she cant be with her mom when shes sick shes gone back and forth emo sobbing to cursing and stomping and ranting and maaaaaad! so I pretty much just slept through her anger.

So im laying in bed texting farmboy. shes been basically bedridden for two days. suddenly shes up, cursing and stomping and spitting and throwing stuff. I hear DONT ASK QUESTIONS ILL BE BACK! and im like WHAT?! but shes already gone. she gets back and is like DONT LOOK CLOSE YOUR DOOR! by now ive guessed it was a present but at first I was like ohmygosh my mom is a drug dealer ohmygosh.

the next day im on her laptop watching anime when she sighs and says do you want your present? theres none on Christmas day if you get it now. im like YUH so she brings out what im typing to you now on. Asus touchscreen laptop of epicsauceness. whooo. I already found some quirks that im not fond of so ill give a blog post all about my laptop later. for now its epic. :3

apparently my moms sister and dad freaked out that she would be too sick to go get me a present so they bought it and drove here to give it to me. awwwww! sweetest family ever!!!!!


sooo yah now I got my laptop. booyah. and its very strange. gonna take a lot of experimenting before I can understand half of this thing but I love it.

sooooo its Christmas eve and im sick. I don't even remember much except ohmygosh we watched monsters inc to get my mind off the pain until it was time to take more meds. mom loved it-she'd never seen the whole thing. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was her crying over me saying I cant be under the covers. ive never been so cold in my life. 104 fever. it was awful and actually really scary. ive had it that high, but never fever plus all this other junk. turns out I had flu-have flu *coughcoughhack* and fever that by the time it was over got to like 108. I was sobbing from the pain and whining and I told farmboy how high my temp was and he was like psh so? ive had mine up to 110 before. and im like good for you freak. 105 is when it gets severe. mom says at 110 you should be deaf. freak. its not a competition I just feel like mess and you're being a buttwipe. (did I mention im mean when im sick)

then I passed out for five hours, woke up shivering. so cold. sooo cold ohmygosh ahhh >_< and knowing blankets are literally like within arm distance but im too weak to reach out and grab them. ack! hated that. finally at like 5 am it got so severe that mom dragged me through the house into a cold bath. apparently if its too cold the person can go into shock but if its too warm their temp can rise so she was on pins and needles wondering how the water was and I just fell asleep in the tub like wahh I feel bad okay nighty night. woke up on the couch(all this happened on the couch btw)

next morning I wake up, tell mom happy Christmas(not merry, I was too tired for that) and then went back to sleep. actually I tried watching the vampire diaries cuz I was like im in need of cute sarcastic guys. hmmm DAMON! but I fell asleep. so yah. then th erest of today has just been moaning in pain, taking my temp, watching a full anime in two days straight(review tomorrow)

Now its 4 am the day after Christmas. im finally getting sleepy-my schedule is so out of whack its not even funny. goodnight peeps. ill give ya a bit more tomorrow-or whenever I feel like it. I feel ugh again so im going to bed.

please enjoy whatever is on my laptop after three days of being in my possession

Just a rant but you might wanna read it anywaay

Nothing really in this but if you read it and find that you don't like what I say then blame the chick holding the sign that set me off in the first place. 

It has come to my attention recently(like my formal talk? Yeah me neither) that people are debating if a woman's attire has to do with rape. Then I'm on Facebook and I see this image and... wow. I just got so mad.

When a woman is trying to get a man in her bed she goes for sexy. When you see that in a movie you see a low cut dress and backless dress. When she's going for seductive in a less formal manner its short shorts and a revealing top. Anyone who's watched tv has seen this at least once! It turns men on to see revealed skin! So how is it that a ton of women believe they only get turned on by that when you're trying to seduce them? Nowadays the things people would wear to intentionally get a man horny are what women wear on a daily basis! But yet somehow the men aren't supposed to have the same reaction? I don't support rape, you know that. But it happens and there's a reason for that. In many instances its that they long for dominance, or they are just straight up twisted and dark in their hearts. In other times it most certainly is because a woman reveals basically everything. We see celebrities wearing things that are one blink away from showing a nipple. And then we see that in the store. But yet the guy isn't supposed to react? My momma always said don't ever joke around with a guy. Don't tease him and don't do anything that would put impure thoughts in their head. She said boys get turned on quicker than hitting the switch on the wall and turning on the light. In my church we're asked to keep our shorts at least to the knee. Our shirts have sleeves that cover our cleavage and our shoulders. I remember seeing a thing on facebook about schools requiring shirts with sleeves and whats a guy gonna do say "dang thats a mighty fine shoulder?" No but he might look lower. He might look at your neck. When we hear about a seductive character in a book it involves a sleeveless dress and he stares down it. So how are the shirts supposed to get a different reaction?! And I've seen it myself. I've watched guys treat girls that dress right a certain way and then I've watched guys talking to girls with everything hanging out just stare and ignore everything she says. Not every one. Some don't respond as much, some don't show how much it affects them. But it's scientifically proven that a well dressed woman brings out certain triggers in the brain whereas promiscuous women literally turn off the emotional side of the brain. The only other time this happens is when a man goes through war and experiences trauma so much that that area of his brain just stops functioning. While his humanity switch is going off(i know that sounds like vampire diaries but thats seriously what its like) another area triggers. The part of the brain that registers tools. Screwdrivers, wrenches, hammers. For the longest time I had "unless you want to be seen as a hammer in a bikini dress like you know who you are." written on my mirror. Another thing on my mirror is rolling in mud only attracts pigs. I'm getting off the topic but to sum this up in time for me to charge this dying battery and go take a sunday nap is

Women wear things that back when there was decency in the world- was only worn by prostitutes and expect not to get raped. I'm not saying every woman that wears a low cut dress will get raped. I'm just saying theres a bigger chance of it with your butt hanging out of your shorts and nipples practically showing than with a perfectly cute modest top. I'll talk more on how I know this as a fact later when I've got sleep and charge. Bye bye my beauties!

a more accurate blog

K so- today(its past midnight) is the day i get to celebrate christmas with my dad's side of the family. we always draw names and thats who you buy a present for.... i got my cousin. normally id be cool with that- we always love each other and hang out like besties. but after her butting in on my confession...im wondering how much elephant poop costs to be wrapped and sent to someone's house. i'm so mad and hurt and betrayed by that. i love her i do but im struggling to get past this. it was such a big thing for me and she butchered it for me and then bragged about it. and im still upset.

sooooo i watched The wolverine tonight. the one with him going to japan. yeah. i watched it on viooz and -half of the movie was japanese with no subtitles. And I translated it. Accurately. And I've been patting myself on the back for four hours now. This is the biggest achievement in my life and ive never been so giddy about something before ohmygosh!!!!!! 99.99% OF THE VIEWERS ARE LIKE DUDE I DONT KNOW WHAT THEYRE PLOTTING ITS NOT IN ENGLISH! BUT NOT ME! NOOO WE BEAT THEM! WE KNEW THE PLOTS AND THE DRAMA THAT NO ONE ELSE DOES! HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN SAY THAT?! I HAD NO IDEA I WAS CAPABLE OF THAT, JUST AT THE BEGINNING IM TEXTING AND I HEAR SOMETHING AND IM LIKE OH I CAN TRANSLATE THAT, IT MEANS [WHATEVER] AND THEN A FULL MOVIE LATER IM LIKE.. WHOA. NO WAY. I DID NOT. OHMYGOSH I DID! HOLY FRICKIN CRAP NO WAY! OHMYGOSH! I JUST DID THAT! I TRANSLATED AN ENTIRE BLOODY MOVIE! OHMYGOSH I AM THE COOLEST KID IN THE ENTIRE FRICKIN WORLD HOLY FRICKIN CRAP WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! BEAT THAT LOSERS WHO SAY ANIME IS STUPID! WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING WOLVERINE AND STARING BLANKLY AT THE SCREEN DONT COME CRYING TO ME! OR DO, AND BRING MONEY. I DONT TRANSLATE FOR FREE.  ^______^ SO HAPPY OHMYGOHS. HEEHEE. IT PAYED THE FRICK OFF! BOOOOOOO TO THE YAH! WHOOO!


okay. im good. im calm.... ^_^ no I'm not. Teehee!!


okay so- amazing movie. wow. incredible. best movie in years when it comes to plot and graphics. especially a marvel one. we watched thor-20 minutes of it- the other day and the plot was not there and the villians looked like they came straight over from the power rangers set. Wolverine had- first of all hughe  jackman. second of all- epic japanese women who REPRESENT! third of all-hot ninja who looks like he should be in a boyband. probably is.
 then there's the villians. you may have noticed-villians matter to me. without a good villian the movie kills itself. same with books.  this one.... the villians were epic. we hated them! they were so good at accting bad!!!! the good guys were pretty/hot/sexy(male and female) and the fighting scenes had you cringing at how wonderfully violent it was! the plot made sense, even the twists all made sense at the end. nothing was left to question by the end. it wasn't too sexual- except walking in on a bad fiance and his hookers. he went out a window so it was okay. the cussing was insane. D, several B, four F(that i heard), A, S, and the word cock which is a cuss word around here. (i watched pewdiepie with my dad and he was totally cool with cussing in swedish and english. but add cock and "ohh whoa livia turn that off thats real, real bad cussing!" -_- mataku.)
The comedy was good, the fanservice of hughe jackman's abs(and his dead girlfriends boobs) was there but not enough that you get tired of it. i mean. come on. its hughe jackman. there was one scene where the girl was like OGLING him and he said something smartypantsish and you could tell she wasnt hearing a word. just hearing the muscles. om nom nom. delish. mmm mm mm!!! o_o you didnt hear that. its your mind playing tricks on you. nope. i said nothing about wanting to eat him up. not at all. *cough*

so yah. amazing movie. best superhero movie ever. like ever ever ever.


moving on to anime(that amazing wonderful creation that turned me into a frickin translator like a boss)

natsume yuujinchou. natsume and the book of friends. so i watched the first episode ages back. looked good but i was out of the habit of finishing anime so i didnt. then last night im derping on youtube and end up on an anime reviewer chick(12 days of anime thing) talking about how she adores that anime and she choked up about how good it was and stuff and i was just like whoa. so i rewatch it. im on episode two and its already made me cry. So sweet, so tender, so pure. The cast is fantastic. Natsume is a kid who's suffered much and has put up walls to keep his heart safe. he's truly caring and kind but he hides behind snarky words so as not to get involved.  Nyanko-sama is serious at times but he's a fluffy cat so you can't quite take it seriously. He's so Tsundere(you're wrong! it-its not as if i i like you or anything! idiot! <- that type of person. I'm tsundere) I love the voice actors. I was listening to one of the youkai and it was just- you could tell they didnt acceept the first person to walk in teh door and audition. the voices fit even the most insignificant characters absolutely flawlessly. The art is magical in its simplicity. like something you'd see in a childhood storybook with watercolor paintings portraying the story. giving just enough but all that you could ever need. i love super detailed stuff but this didnt require it. and keep in mind im just at episode 2-3 by the end of tonight- and im in love. With natsume- the character that has gone through soo much and is still so tender that you cant help but wishing him happiness. i feel that with a lot of characters but this was different. you feel what you see him experiencing. it captures the viewer like nothing ive ever seen and you're caught hook line and sinker.



okay so i just tried to stretch out and realized that both of my arms.. i cant straighten eihter of them. i have no idea whats happening but it hurts so bad it feels like my muscles are stretched to their limits and its so painful it hurts all the way into my fingers each time i try to straighten waht is happening ohmygosh!


okay get a load of this conversation

moose:

me: dat turtle. ohmygosh. i want it. it makes me think of the turtles i caught as a kid.
moose: I'll tell you the story of my turtle:
I once had two small turtles. They lived in an aquarium for years. One night, one of them escaped for God knows how! We were panicking we looked for it for days. A few weeks later, We found it under the refrigerator. Well, basically we found its shell. Empty. With red ants all around it.
me: all aboard the feels train! first stop hatred of ants! second stop- tearville!

moose: wahahaha! btw, that turtle's name is George

me: screw you george. i didnt wanna cry tonight -_-

her: George was an evil little turtle. He kills the other small fishes, so we had him seperated in another aquarium with another turtle xD

me: so he wasnt a vegetarian! you think he deserves death by the slowest eating ever because of it?! ants are slow ohmygosh!!! @_@ curse you moose the platypus for making me think of this.

please tell me im not the only one scarred by that.



okay so im on youtube and i find- the best amvs EVER ohmygosh. i dont care if you never click a single link i put on here. click these. please. you wont regret it.

this

and this

yes

warning f bomb


and now i leave at 2am to go watch netsuke then go sleep later peps!

Lots of stuff (nail polish, kitties, spiritual stuff, life, more life)

88 pages of anime.. I finally found it

I spent forty five minutes looking for sad robots...i feel like i just went through a war or something.

I've been wanting to use it and draw it all day @_@ such a hard life i lead, unable to find my sad robots.

Now I'm going through Favim.com, adding a new tag "Actual anime" because some retards keep tagging quotes and miley cyrus pictures as anime. Uhm. No. YOU WILL NOT DISGRACE THE NAME OF ANIME WITH THAT UGLY, WRINKLY HOE! NOT GONNA HAPPEN!
So i'm doing all of the anime lovers who are sick of scrolling through her a huge favor :3 :3 You're welcome, Favim viewers!!!!

now, everyone hush while i draw sad robots. ooh enjoy other things ive drawn today while im busy!

You can see an ear in that last one o_o .....


okay. this. just. yes. hehe.

yup. im not in a blogging mood so I leave it at that. Pocky wins every time. Nuff said. Milk Man is adorable. Nuff said. Bye.

ALL ABOARD THE FEELS TRAIN!!!!

I've got a lot to talk about but I think I'll talk backwards because whats on my mind is the really long word. And this next part involves spoilers so I'll put a warning for you and let you know where it ends in case you want to avoid it.

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"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMYYYYY GOSHHHHH!!!!OHMYGOSHNO!WHAT!!?NO!THATSNOTHOWITWASSUPPOSEDTOGONONONOITSALIEYOULIARS!!!!"

No spaces because my mind is thinking it very fast. Mmkay so I looked for a new movie to watch by watching trailers today. I found one that's a movie called Disconnect. Its got a male stripper and an interviewer its got a former marine guy trying to have a kid and facing identity theft it follows 15 or more characters by the time its over but it does it flawlessly-until the end. Lots of punching, a woman gets slapped, a man pulls a gun(all in different areas of the city, different characters) and i'm so certain everyone is gonna die. no. worse. THERES NO FRIGGIN ENDING! OR AT LEAST NO RESOLVE! NO DEATH! NO CONCLUSION! A GIRL GETS SLAPPED AND THE STRIPPER WHO IM CERTAIN IS GONNA DECK THE GUY AND GO WITH HER ALL OF A SUDDEN SPITS AND WALKS AWAY WHAT ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO LIVE TOGETHER AND BE AWESOME AND SWEET! AND YOU MARINE DUDE EITHER GET SHOT OR SHOOT BUT DONT BURST INTO TEARS WHAT KINDA MARINE ARE YOU?! AND YOU TWO MEN PUNCHING EITHER OTHER ON TEH GRASS! HOW IS PUNCHING GOING TO HELP THE KID IN THE HOSPITAL AND THE KID YOU JUST HIT WITH A HOCKEY STICK..THINGY. I DIDNT NEED A HAPPY ENDING BUT I NEEDED AN ENDING! OHMYGOSH NO I NEED STRIPPER TO GET BEAT BY HIS PIMP, REALIZE ITS A BAD WORLD AND GO BACK TO THE IDIOT GIRL. I NEED THE KID TO WAKE UP! AND EITHER AHVE BRAIN DAMAGE OR NOT BUT WAKE UP! OR FLATLINE BUT DONT JUST LAY THERE NOT FINISHING! PARENTS EITHER DIVORCE AND MOVE ON OR MAKE UP BUT QUIT HURTING YOUR KIDS ITS NOT THEIR FRICKIN FAULT. OHHHHHMYGOSH IM SO TORMENTED! THAT WAS HORRIBLE! IT WAS A WONDERFULLY REAL MOVIE, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD WE GET ANSWERS! WE DONT CUT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SENTENCE! EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SHOW ANY OF THAT THEN YOU SHOULD I DUNNO FLASH FORWARD, SHOW THE BRAINDEAD KID IN THERAPY SHOW THE STRIPPER LIVING HIS SEXY LIFE SHOW THE REPORTER DRINKING HER LIFE AWAY BECAUSE SHE FRIGGIN SCREWED UP. BUT SHOW SOMETHING!

I'm so upset but I think I'm slightly close to somewhat being calm now. Let's move on.



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Remember how my grandma survived the surgery and is all better? That's a lie. or its not. or it is. im not even sure anymore one minute shes covered head to toe in cancer the next shes fine im just sitting here typing around a cat who is laying on the keyboard.

My mom is really sick. Something involving blood pressure and heart rate. I get a call Tuesday saying hey girl.. soooo I'm at the hospital. Next thing I know im staying at a lady from church's house. 9 puppies, 5 cats- and humans. I'd love it if not for the humans. And it was oaky when it was just the malicious older sister, sadistic younger sister who likes punching innocent bystanders in the boob and has none to punch back, and the mom who yells a lot and grandparents. but then missionaries come over. i love hte missionaries but it was claustrophobic and i felt like i couldnt breath so I head out into 29 degree weather. the missionaries leave and four other people end up showing up at random times of night. like seriously who gets that many houseguests?! And so many dogs! i love em till tehy lick the inside of my ear!

OH! and they  have a sugar glider! but i'll go back to that later. So yeah. then Finally its bedtime and people quit coming over. we're watching real life crimes when in pop two dudes. one who is ridiculously young funny and handsome-he's got the face of a rockstar my mom said o.o
and one long haired guy. i dont trust them at first cuz they're making jokes about smacking the girls and from what the lady has said about her taste in men i half expect them to. and i still dont doubt that it would happen.  but while i was there they were funny, redneck, sweet people. so anyway i go to sleep, or lay in bed reading on my nook app when suddenly


*random unknown something: scuttle scuttle scratch JUMP!
me: *Screams like a banshee*

I met the sugar glider. they open the cage at night and it runs around and jumps and scares the pee out of guests oh my gosh i was frickin so scared ahhh! and then it chirps like a squeaky toy all night who would pay 300 dollars for that?!

The next day she takes me to seminary, then back at my house mom gets home. things are good. I draw a shirtless character and make a story around him. Mom sees him and accuses me of drawing softporn. If only she knew what I'd gone through to find the picture I drew it from. New character named Ibuki-until I come up with something better. He looks like this dude(no face just body)

With something resembling this branded on him around his *coughcough* v and navel

I hate the V lines. I can't get how people find them sexy, on real people and especially in anime. I only drew that because he's a sex slave and the brand is point to his two V and his crotch. It's part of the story I don't like saggy pants and V lines!


We made fun of justin beiber, we watched Madea goes to jail and Tangled and then she gets up to brush her teeth- and her tongue is almost completely taking up her mouth.

"very rare but dangerous side effects include the swelling of tongue which results in the closing of the throat and likely death"

so rather than going to the er like a normal person she calls her sister who used to be a nurse who says take benadryl and go to bed.

Um. No

Please help me find the logic. It's gonna be like playing a word search game

"oh im dying better take some sleeping pills- but dont worry kiddo i wont die in my sleep because ill wake up if i feel myself choking."

"riiiiight just like you felt it swelling and cracking while we watched the movie?"

"...."

"..."

*huge wrestling match that would make THE BOULDER proud ensues which includes me snatching pills away, stealing phones, threatening, blackmail, threats, fighting, slapping, yellling, dragging, stealing until finally she ends up on the floor, swallows the frickin pill, i yell a lot, she says she wont die i say go ahead and die and rot in hell while you're at it, go to bed and never get any sleep because im certain that im gonna wake up to a fresh corpse in my mothers frickin bed.  so instead i sweep,dust,do dishes, write a new story, clean my room, rearange my drawers, watch two movies and jog. im very productive when im completely on edge apparently.  i end up falling asleep at 5 when i heard her alarm go off and heard her turn it off-meaning she was alive. slept till ten, got up,went to her room, hugged her, heard my grandpa sobbing saying my grandma was covered in cancer, said i cant deal with this right now, fell asleep and had horrifying/psychotic/disturbing/hilarious now that im awake dreams till 3pm.

 after that spent a lot of time listening to mom yell about ranomd stuff, texted, watched frozen and now im here. Oh! Frozen!

Sooooo i've heard this is the best disney movie since Lion King. I've heard it's so great. Then I watch it. Sitting there, staring and waiting for the best since Lion King is gonna happen. I didn't like their singing voices, the comedy wasn't that funny, the effects/plot weren't that good.... all Disney movies seem to flow flawlessly and make sense in the end. This one didn't. It felt rushed and thrown together. I apparently once again stand alone in this, since everyone loves it. but then again everyone else loves What Does the fox say. Hmmm now i dont care so much that my opinion differs. I did like the movie....but at the same time I didn't. I'm very conflicted with it, I think I gotta go back and watch it without expectations and see but what I can tell the commercials were funnier than the movie and it was thrown together at the last minute.

Oh! the only reason I wanted to watch it was because I keep seeing the chick from it paired with MY Jack frost and I wanted to see if she's worthy of him.
SHE MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT! THEY'RE SIBLINGS IF ANYTHING! I LOVE HER AND I LOVE HIM BUT NOT TOGETHER @_@


Okay last thing then im going to bed.
I got asked why I'm so crazy today. Why I'm so open with my emotions. There's a lot of reasons.
1) I've tried being the girl who only shows what she wants people to see. It sucked.
2) I hate finding out that people are hiding behind a mask, the only way I can see true happiness happening is people finding out that somewhere amidst these zillion people theres at least one, maybe even a few who can love them for them.
3) I write child abuse stories. I write rape stories. I write sex traffic slave stories. I read them. I hate it, more than you know but I'm so grateful for them. Seeing the worst I can find the good and I have no problem expressing it. I can appreciate that gorgeous gray foggy day. I can say that the birds on the telephone poles that are all crowded together are having a meeting and not care what the driver thinks. It's absolutely horrible the things I read and write and watch and hear about- but they make me a better person I think and I'm grateful for them. No. Wait no im not grateful for them because then i have to be grateful for them happening! No I....I'm glad that if it's going to happen I can be one of the few people in the world who aren't blind to it, who don't change the subject when someone mentions it, who doesn't turn away from the 5 year old girl getting slapped in Mcdonalds(I'll be going through the drive through from now on because I got in a fight with a grandma who slapped her grandkid because the kid didn't want to say her order herself to the lady behind the counter. I wanted to smack her back.) It happens and if it happens then I'm going to face it, I'm going to try and get more people to face it so we can end it. I can't do much but I think I was given this mindset so I could write this stuff and bring light on the darkest areas.  I saw an article yesterday Cambodia children sold to sex slavery by parents.
And I can just see the people looking at that, sipping their coffee and saying its horrible but its in another country so it doesnt apply to me. I can see it because I've witnessed it, a lot. And it makes me sick worse than anything in this universe.

It doesn't apply to you? Okay no I haven't heard about an american selling their kid to a pimp. Does that mean it hasn't happened? Nope. And either way- no that exact story of kids being raped while the parents count the cash might not apply to you personally. But does the kid coming to school with bruises, the boy wearing makeup to hide his wounds apply? Does the girl getting screamed at in the grocery store apply to you? Does that hooker who is so hungry for food she ends up resorting to the lowest of lows apply? No? Why? Because it's not you? Because its not your kid? Because your kid is warm and cozy and so that's enough right? You're being a good parent so there's no need to help anyone outside the family. wow.

I'm gonna get off but I hope someone reads this last part and doesn't just dismiss it as me being irrational like my mom did.

Be grateful for what you've got. Life sucks but focusing on that will make it suckier and you've got better things to do in life than that. Open your eyes and see how good you've got it, and then go help somebody who has less. Smile at a stranger, wave at someone in a car next to you or start up a conversation on the subway. Help out the hobo, or put money in the guitar guy's cup. (Lately I've been seeing things saying people are doing it with the wrong intention-to make themselves feel better about themselves. Maybe so. But do you think the hobo cares? ) Talk to the kid who's alone at school. Seriously what could it hurt? Heck- go give somebody an oreo!!!!!! I saw that oreo commercial where Owl City sings about giving oreos to vampires and stuff and I really want to go give people oreos now. Just to smile and hand someone a cookie who looks stressed. That sounds like so much fun, me and Lily will be doing that when she comes to visit.


Yup-super long ramble but I don't regret anything I said. Jack frost and Erza(sp?) are siblings not lovers, male hookers should not let their pimps smack women then walk away without helping her, im okay with showing my emotions no matter how silly or stupid or needy or whiny my emotion might be and go be nice to somebody, you never know how badly they need it.. Yup I'm good with that. Goodnight all- or good day or JOLLY GOOD SHOW OLE CHAP!

Comment(pleaseprettypleasepuhleasewithpowderedsugarandchocolateandsprinklesontop!) and even if you don't comment(youtotallyshouldtho.likeseriously.commentpeople.please) enjoy this bunch of random images of random awesomeness!!!

Oh and a link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anbKfiJS4m8

so much art styles ohmygoodness

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64 pics ermagersh and idek what i jsut showed you it was just whatever was on my desktop at the time ._. ._.

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