*high pitched nasally annoying voice that my mind thinks is what my laptop sounds like if it spoke* "Your battery is running low"
*me growling like a freak* Grrrrrr frickin thing. I love you but I've never had something this slow except my ipod that died between every message.I swore I wasn't ever going back to such a low place in my life and then you happen and I love you but wow your battery sucks"
Take two ACTION
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHMYGOSH I HAVE HICCUPS!!! >_< hURTS SO BAD OHMYGOSH WHUT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? COUGHING,SNEEZING AND NOW SUPER PAINFUL HICCUPS THAT LIKE HURT ALL THE WAY INTO MY TOES HOW DOES THIS EVEN HAPPEN? >_<
Take three ACTION
oh you've only had that laptop for three days? cool well how bout we just DROP SOME PUDDING ON THE KEYS!!!!!!!
*keyboard screams* noo! not pudding! anything but pudding!
*puddings evil laughter* mwuahahahaahahahaha
me at 2 am ._.
soooo yeah. its 2 am. almost 3 actually. im laying here staring around my room and can I just tell you- my room is awful. not like the cute kind of messy. We're talking days of coming home, packing, going to hospital, get home, throw everything in a pile. we're talking enormous piles of handmedowns that I don't have hangers to put them up so tehyre like almost as big as me and spilling over. we're talking snot rag central ever since I got sick. we're talking the bedding is so mixmatched. we got a butterfly quilt thing that doesn't hold in heat hardly at all that's all torn up from the decades that we've had it. we got the bottom sheet thingy that's all red white and blue and looks like a kaleidoscope and then a sleeping bag that can keep you warm in like antartica weather-but not our house when the heater breaks (-_-) and I love my room. like Ive never in my whole life had a bedroom that wasn't too girly(went on vacation, come back my grandma has barbiefied my bedroom) or too creepy(haunted house at the beach. loooong story). I mean sure there was a suicide in this house. sure the ghost still manages to scare the wazz outta me sometimes. but nah. its all worth it cuz I adore adore ADORE my room! Until now. now I walk in am like -ugh its filthy but I don't wanna clean it- and walk out.
OKAY now let me start at the beginning because my brain is going ninety to nothing. Did I ever talk about my Christmas parties? *scrolls back through* no I didn't. coulda sworn I did.
My aunt... Hilda _huehuehue_ always throws these huge parties. well this year the food was bad, the kids were evil, I went outside to talk to lily and basically my leg got raped by a dog...a lot of times. and I hate hitting animals(my cat would beg to differ) so I was kick giving the nicest kicks to the groin you possibly could give. ended up using my jacket as a whip and spanking the mutt then hiding in the bed of a truck till he went off into the fields. boo yah. the dog whisperer would be so proud.
Then I go in and my aunts are telling stories of the wildest things that happened when they were drunk. Waking up in a florida bathtub(WHAT?!), puking 17 feet down. begging people on the street to give them tattoos. it was hilarious but at the same time its ironic. these are the people that critizise how mom raised me. one aunt(that no one really likes) literally said to mom "you should change how you raise her or she'll rebel and end up walking down the road in a string bakini!" ... very long story. very very long story that you had to be there to understand. And then the first person to leave, she said bye and that same aunt called out "bye sugar! we wont be talking about you after you leave!" ...I'd like to blame that on the wine but honestly I think the wine would make her a more decent person. wow. really. like I know you gossip but could you not announce that you're about to judge them? wow. just wow. Oh and *pfft!* Hilda's kid. so hilda gave me a stuffed kitty when I was little. then me-being the nice kiddo I once was- gave the kitty to her kid when her firstborn was born. well I go to this party, im looking for the midgets cuz ive had enough of drunken adults and I find my old kitty- squished beneath this enormous dollhouse. it takes me and six boy midgets to get the dollhouse up and I snatch up my kitty and... yeah. I- the stuffed animal police- confiscated Jacki-Jacks from the abusive foster parents and return her to her permanent home. until I give it to a kid who will appreciate it. ohmygosh I just googled beanie babies and... wow. it takes a lot of different kinds of people to make up this world. wow. anyway. this is Jacks and she Is mine once more! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
OHMYGOSH guys so its like 3 am and on my text app account I just got a text and I just like hear the ding and instantly like my heart starts racing and I feel like a person in a horror movie or something 0-0 so I read it and its this number that looks familiar but theres no name to anyone but mom and farmboy on my text app so I couldn't be sure. but there was zero history of previous texts on this number. theyre acting nice and im kinda trying to give the benefit of the doubt because ive been trying to get in touch with.... what did I call him on here....*justw ent through old blog posts* Benny. Bennyboo. Bennybopper. Idek. I wished him merry Christmas and never got an answer so a part of me was like oh maybe this is his old number. then the person is like not saying their name or who theyre trying to get in touch with and im like yeah no. benny would be like hey you psychotic freak why do you not know who I am? This is not him or anyone I know. and they were being all nice and im just like super blunt give me a name then we'll talk. and their name is john. nope. no one named john knows this number. "oops just talked to my friend they changed numbers" riiiiiiight. I could be some insanely paranoid freak who's being mean to a person who really has been trying to get in touch with their friend. or I could be a person who's not in the mood for dealing with strangers at 3 am. you decide.
where was I.
oh yes. then me and mom go home, watch some SVU(my mom likes sexual crime shows too?! who knew!!!! except she cant handle graphic. I don't think its legit unless its graphic :/ ) then head to bed. I don't remember what all happened but
my mom has staph infection. on her butt. and I have to bandage and clean it and- no joke- I cried every time I had to do it. im not a wuss. im not afraid of blood and ive seen more butts than im happy with. but I cried. and cried. and wailed. and sobbed. and called Lily and sobbed to her that no matter how much blood doesn't effect me ill never be a nurse. and she comforted me-but then I had to do it for more days. until yesterday when I suddenly became so sick that a killer butt pimple was suddenly second to me. but yah. traumatized. repeatedly. it was awful. awful. terrible. and she's been in such a mood because of it. ive been there, had it so I know her pain. but she woulda grounded my pimple'd butt if I said the stuff she said! grrrrr I hate how adult can get away with words that kids would get in trouble for -_-
sooooo a doctors appointment later(OH AND I WENT TO HER SCHOOL BUT IM TOO LAZY TO BLOG ABOUT IT TODAY I WILL LATER) we're driving to my dad's parents place(he lives there right now). somehow getting in and out of the car is the most painful thing ever for poor mama. she cried and cried. and cried. and then lashed out and im already a wreck from seeing her cry like that. then she gets aggressive and yells and I just break down. and the whole drive I pretty much sobbed about how mad I was at my cousin. so so mad. and my dad-for...just everything. and should I even do this? act like everything's okay when its clearly not? and all this stuff. ive never cried consecutively for such a long time. and especially not to mom. I cried to lily when I confessed my darkest secret to her. then sobbed that same day-about an hour later when I revealed it to farmboy. but never to mom. then we get there, watch the play which is a Christmas carol(scrooge). ive watched that play every christmsa for fifteen years. this year everyone had mixed feelings. I thought it sucked. mom liked a lot of it but didn't like other parts. I didn't like scrooge- he was either too nice or too overly dramatic and it annoyed me. I didn't like a single one of the ghosts. I didn't like pretty much anybody except the funny guys with canes. and another thing-scrooge as a boy is this adorable black boy. then its like he hits his twenties and BAM! WHITE BOY! he grew out of his poorness and became white! I remember one of the years, the same guy that played the ghost of Christmas present this year played scrooge. funny black guy but can be really mean sounding if that's his role. if the kid is black then let his older self be black too! weirdos. OH! and another thing! Tiny tim, the little crippled boy. he was a girl. and I almost didn't care about that. mom did. but I cared more with the fact that she didn't have a crutch, her limp was nonexistent. I loved tiny tim last year. this year it was like who is this crossdressing imposter?!
get to the house, all the cousins are there. including the one that im upset with. before the food is even blessed I bring her to a bedroom and try to be all mean with "ill never tell you a secret again you betrayed me" and then she goes "I screwed up bigtime didn't I" and im like yeah and it took me forever to compose myself. but by the end of it we were hugging and I realized I cant be mad at someone I love so much. by the end of the night I loved her just like before :)
PRESENTS!
soooo my family draws names and whoever gets whoevers names buys for that person. we got that cousin. I was upset so I made my dad go buy her some art supplies and stuff. she loved it. my aunt got my name and got me this epic perfume that's from the love kills slowly brand. I think. or maybe that's this collection. idk. im confused now but whatever. it smells divine and its decorated to look like all kinds of tattoos and I love it! my dad got me a disco ball and a lamp that looks like liquid spilling out of a cup. my entire family-on both sides was planning to pitch together and get me a laptop. my grandma gave me fifty bucks and I got all excited to buy books with it but mom said it was going to my laptop. yay laptop but... I want some books. :/ oh and a super sexy jacket that's three sizes too small and mom threw a fit about how theyre the worst present givers ever about. uhhhhh they always give stocking stuffers and this year its a huge stocking-with a massager thing and a flashlight. im quite certain every kid made the same the-heck-is-this-face when we opened it. ill discuss my opinion on it later. the cousin I was upset with got the rise of the guardian story books and we read them and drew together and played video games and fangirled and just had a blast. then everyone left and only one cousin-guy cousin was left. he's an idiot and a midget who thinks every girl in the world wants him. lol no. ive literally had to apologize because girls come up to me and are like your cousin stalked us throughout this entire activity, your cousin is creeping us out. I like have to apologize for him all the time. so he's sitting in his car and I get in and we're watching twerking fails and all this stuff and it was just so much fun. he's a freak and we have like zero in common but somehow I think im one of the very few people in this world that truly gets him and is there for him. even if my besty wants to murder him for sitting in her lap in front of her boyfriend. even if I have to apologize my entire life for being related to him. I get him.
k so get home. trauma. cry. moms upset because she's contagious so unless she's better she wont get to see her mom on Christmas. whenever im sick or hurting I just want to be completely alone. like if mom would do it id tell her go out go buy yourself something nice and come back in three days when im better. because I say the meanest things when im sick and its better not to have anyone around that will get offended. when moms sick she cries that she wants her mom. so knowing that she cant be with her mom when shes sick shes gone back and forth emo sobbing to cursing and stomping and ranting and maaaaaad! so I pretty much just slept through her anger.
So im laying in bed texting farmboy. shes been basically bedridden for two days. suddenly shes up, cursing and stomping and spitting and throwing stuff. I hear DONT ASK QUESTIONS ILL BE BACK! and im like WHAT?! but shes already gone. she gets back and is like DONT LOOK CLOSE YOUR DOOR! by now ive guessed it was a present but at first I was like ohmygosh my mom is a drug dealer ohmygosh.
the next day im on her laptop watching anime when she sighs and says do you want your present? theres none on Christmas day if you get it now. im like YUH so she brings out what im typing to you now on. Asus touchscreen laptop of epicsauceness. whooo. I already found some quirks that im not fond of so ill give a blog post all about my laptop later. for now its epic. :3
apparently my moms sister and dad freaked out that she would be too sick to go get me a present so they bought it and drove here to give it to me. awwwww! sweetest family ever!!!!!
sooo yah now I got my laptop. booyah. and its very strange. gonna take a lot of experimenting before I can understand half of this thing but I love it.
sooooo its Christmas eve and im sick. I don't even remember much except ohmygosh we watched monsters inc to get my mind off the pain until it was time to take more meds. mom loved it-she'd never seen the whole thing. I fell asleep and when I woke up it was her crying over me saying I cant be under the covers. ive never been so cold in my life. 104 fever. it was awful and actually really scary. ive had it that high, but never fever plus all this other junk. turns out I had flu-have flu *coughcoughhack* and fever that by the time it was over got to like 108. I was sobbing from the pain and whining and I told farmboy how high my temp was and he was like psh so? ive had mine up to 110 before. and im like good for you freak. 105 is when it gets severe. mom says at 110 you should be deaf. freak. its not a competition I just feel like mess and you're being a buttwipe. (did I mention im mean when im sick)
then I passed out for five hours, woke up shivering. so cold. sooo cold ohmygosh ahhh >_< and knowing blankets are literally like within arm distance but im too weak to reach out and grab them. ack! hated that. finally at like 5 am it got so severe that mom dragged me through the house into a cold bath. apparently if its too cold the person can go into shock but if its too warm their temp can rise so she was on pins and needles wondering how the water was and I just fell asleep in the tub like wahh I feel bad okay nighty night. woke up on the couch(all this happened on the couch btw)
next morning I wake up, tell mom happy Christmas(not merry, I was too tired for that) and then went back to sleep. actually I tried watching the vampire diaries cuz I was like im in need of cute sarcastic guys. hmmm DAMON! but I fell asleep. so yah. then th erest of today has just been moaning in pain, taking my temp, watching a full anime in two days straight(review tomorrow)
Now its 4 am the day after Christmas. im finally getting sleepy-my schedule is so out of whack its not even funny. goodnight peeps. ill give ya a bit more tomorrow-or whenever I feel like it. I feel ugh again so im going to bed.
please enjoy whatever is on my laptop after three days of being in my possession
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