Insert something witty here: ALL ABOARD THE FEELS TRAIN!!!!

I've got a lot to talk about but I think I'll talk backwards because whats on my mind is the really long word. And this next part involves spoilers so I'll put a warning for you and let you know where it ends in case you want to avoid it.

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"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMYYYYY GOSHHHHH!!!!OHMYGOSHNO!WHAT!!?NO!THATSNOTHOWITWASSUPPOSEDTOGONONONOITSALIEYOULIARS!!!!"

No spaces because my mind is thinking it very fast. Mmkay so I looked for a new movie to watch by watching trailers today. I found one that's a movie called Disconnect. Its got a male stripper and an interviewer its got a former marine guy trying to have a kid and facing identity theft it follows 15 or more characters by the time its over but it does it flawlessly-until the end. Lots of punching, a woman gets slapped, a man pulls a gun(all in different areas of the city, different characters) and i'm so certain everyone is gonna die. no. worse. THERES NO FRIGGIN ENDING! OR AT LEAST NO RESOLVE! NO DEATH! NO CONCLUSION! A GIRL GETS SLAPPED AND THE STRIPPER WHO IM CERTAIN IS GONNA DECK THE GUY AND GO WITH HER ALL OF A SUDDEN SPITS AND WALKS AWAY WHAT ARE YOU FRICKIN KIDDING ME NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GO LIVE TOGETHER AND BE AWESOME AND SWEET! AND YOU MARINE DUDE EITHER GET SHOT OR SHOOT BUT DONT BURST INTO TEARS WHAT KINDA MARINE ARE YOU?! AND YOU TWO MEN PUNCHING EITHER OTHER ON TEH GRASS! HOW IS PUNCHING GOING TO HELP THE KID IN THE HOSPITAL AND THE KID YOU JUST HIT WITH A HOCKEY STICK..THINGY. I DIDNT NEED A HAPPY ENDING BUT I NEEDED AN ENDING! OHMYGOSH NO I NEED STRIPPER TO GET BEAT BY HIS PIMP, REALIZE ITS A BAD WORLD AND GO BACK TO THE IDIOT GIRL. I NEED THE KID TO WAKE UP! AND EITHER AHVE BRAIN DAMAGE OR NOT BUT WAKE UP! OR FLATLINE BUT DONT JUST LAY THERE NOT FINISHING! PARENTS EITHER DIVORCE AND MOVE ON OR MAKE UP BUT QUIT HURTING YOUR KIDS ITS NOT THEIR FRICKIN FAULT. OHHHHHMYGOSH IM SO TORMENTED! THAT WAS HORRIBLE! IT WAS A WONDERFULLY REAL MOVIE, BUT IN THE REAL WORLD WE GET ANSWERS! WE DONT CUT OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SENTENCE! EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA SHOW ANY OF THAT THEN YOU SHOULD I DUNNO FLASH FORWARD, SHOW THE BRAINDEAD KID IN THERAPY SHOW THE STRIPPER LIVING HIS SEXY LIFE SHOW THE REPORTER DRINKING HER LIFE AWAY BECAUSE SHE FRIGGIN SCREWED UP. BUT SHOW SOMETHING!

I'm so upset but I think I'm slightly close to somewhat being calm now. Let's move on.

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Remember how my grandma survived the surgery and is all better? That's a lie. or its not. or it is. im not even sure anymore one minute shes covered head to toe in cancer the next shes fine im just sitting here typing around a cat who is laying on the keyboard.

My mom is really sick. Something involving blood pressure and heart rate. I get a call Tuesday saying hey girl.. soooo I'm at the hospital. Next thing I know im staying at a lady from church's house. 9 puppies, 5 cats- and humans. I'd love it if not for the humans. And it was oaky when it was just the malicious older sister, sadistic younger sister who likes punching innocent bystanders in the boob and has none to punch back, and the mom who yells a lot and grandparents. but then missionaries come over. i love hte missionaries but it was claustrophobic and i felt like i couldnt breath so I head out into 29 degree weather. the missionaries leave and four other people end up showing up at random times of night. like seriously who gets that many houseguests?! And so many dogs! i love em till tehy lick the inside of my ear!

OH! and they have a sugar glider! but i'll go back to that later. So yeah. then Finally its bedtime and people quit coming over. we're watching real life crimes when in pop two dudes. one who is ridiculously young funny and handsome-he's got the face of a rockstar my mom said o.o
and one long haired guy. i dont trust them at first cuz they're making jokes about smacking the girls and from what the lady has said about her taste in men i half expect them to. and i still dont doubt that it would happen. but while i was there they were funny, redneck, sweet people. so anyway i go to sleep, or lay in bed reading on my nook app when suddenly

*random unknown something: scuttle scuttle scratch JUMP!
me: *Screams like a banshee*

I met the sugar glider. they open the cage at night and it runs around and jumps and scares the pee out of guests oh my gosh i was frickin so scared ahhh! and then it chirps like a squeaky toy all night who would pay 300 dollars for that?!

The next day she takes me to seminary, then back at my house mom gets home. things are good. I draw a shirtless character and make a story around him. Mom sees him and accuses me of drawing softporn. If only she knew what I'd gone through to find the picture I drew it from. New character named Ibuki-until I come up with something better. He looks like this dude(no face just body)

With something resembling this branded on him around his *coughcough* v and navel

I hate the V lines. I can't get how people find them sexy, on real people and especially in anime. I only drew that because he's a sex slave and the brand is point to his two V and his crotch. It's part of the story I don't like saggy pants and V lines!

We made fun of justin beiber, we watched Madea goes to jail and Tangled and then she gets up to brush her teeth- and her tongue is almost completely taking up her mouth.

"very rare but dangerous side effects include the swelling of tongue which results in the closing of the throat and likely death"

so rather than going to the er like a normal person she calls her sister who used to be a nurse who says take benadryl and go to bed.

Um. No

Please help me find the logic. It's gonna be like playing a word search game

"oh im dying better take some sleeping pills- but dont worry kiddo i wont die in my sleep because ill wake up if i feel myself choking."

"riiiiight just like you felt it swelling and cracking while we watched the movie?"

"...."

"..."

*huge wrestling match that would make THE BOULDER proud ensues which includes me snatching pills away, stealing phones, threatening, blackmail, threats, fighting, slapping, yellling, dragging, stealing until finally she ends up on the floor, swallows the frickin pill, i yell a lot, she says she wont die i say go ahead and die and rot in hell while you're at it, go to bed and never get any sleep because im certain that im gonna wake up to a fresh corpse in my mothers frickin bed. so instead i sweep,dust,do dishes, write a new story, clean my room, rearange my drawers, watch two movies and jog. im very productive when im completely on edge apparently. i end up falling asleep at 5 when i heard her alarm go off and heard her turn it off-meaning she was alive. slept till ten, got up,went to her room, hugged her, heard my grandpa sobbing saying my grandma was covered in cancer, said i cant deal with this right now, fell asleep and had horrifying/psychotic/disturbing/hilarious now that im awake dreams till 3pm.

after that spent a lot of time listening to mom yell about ranomd stuff, texted, watched frozen and now im here. Oh! Frozen!

Sooooo i've heard this is the best disney movie since Lion King. I've heard it's so great. Then I watch it. Sitting there, staring and waiting for the best since Lion King is gonna happen. I didn't like their singing voices, the comedy wasn't that funny, the effects/plot weren't that good.... all Disney movies seem to flow flawlessly and make sense in the end. This one didn't. It felt rushed and thrown together. I apparently once again stand alone in this, since everyone loves it. but then again everyone else loves What Does the fox say. Hmmm now i dont care so much that my opinion differs. I did like the movie....but at the same time I didn't. I'm very conflicted with it, I think I gotta go back and watch it without expectations and see but what I can tell the commercials were funnier than the movie and it was thrown together at the last minute.

Oh! the only reason I wanted to watch it was because I keep seeing the chick from it paired with MY Jack frost and I wanted to see if she's worthy of him.
SHE MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT! THEY'RE SIBLINGS IF ANYTHING! I LOVE HER AND I LOVE HIM BUT NOT TOGETHER @_@

Okay last thing then im going to bed.
I got asked why I'm so crazy today. Why I'm so open with my emotions. There's a lot of reasons.
1) I've tried being the girl who only shows what she wants people to see. It sucked.
2) I hate finding out that people are hiding behind a mask, the only way I can see true happiness happening is people finding out that somewhere amidst these zillion people theres at least one, maybe even a few who can love them for them.
3) I write child abuse stories. I write rape stories. I write sex traffic slave stories. I read them. I hate it, more than you know but I'm so grateful for them. Seeing the worst I can find the good and I have no problem expressing it. I can appreciate that gorgeous gray foggy day. I can say that the birds on the telephone poles that are all crowded together are having a meeting and not care what the driver thinks. It's absolutely horrible the things I read and write and watch and hear about- but they make me a better person I think and I'm grateful for them. No. Wait no im not grateful for them because then i have to be grateful for them happening! No I....I'm glad that if it's going to happen I can be one of the few people in the world who aren't blind to it, who don't change the subject when someone mentions it, who doesn't turn away from the 5 year old girl getting slapped in Mcdonalds(I'll be going through the drive through from now on because I got in a fight with a grandma who slapped her grandkid because the kid didn't want to say her order herself to the lady behind the counter. I wanted to smack her back.) It happens and if it happens then I'm going to face it, I'm going to try and get more people to face it so we can end it. I can't do much but I think I was given this mindset so I could write this stuff and bring light on the darkest areas. I saw an article yesterday Cambodia children sold to sex slavery by parents.
And I can just see the people looking at that, sipping their coffee and saying its horrible but its in another country so it doesnt apply to me. I can see it because I've witnessed it, a lot. And it makes me sick worse than anything in this universe.

It doesn't apply to you? Okay no I haven't heard about an american selling their kid to a pimp. Does that mean it hasn't happened? Nope. And either way- no that exact story of kids being raped while the parents count the cash might not apply to you personally. But does the kid coming to school with bruises, the boy wearing makeup to hide his wounds apply? Does the girl getting screamed at in the grocery store apply to you? Does that hooker who is so hungry for food she ends up resorting to the lowest of lows apply? No? Why? Because it's not you? Because its not your kid? Because your kid is warm and cozy and so that's enough right? You're being a good parent so there's no need to help anyone outside the family. wow.

I'm gonna get off but I hope someone reads this last part and doesn't just dismiss it as me being irrational like my mom did.

Be grateful for what you've got. Life sucks but focusing on that will make it suckier and you've got better things to do in life than that. Open your eyes and see how good you've got it, and then go help somebody who has less. Smile at a stranger, wave at someone in a car next to you or start up a conversation on the subway. Help out the hobo, or put money in the guitar guy's cup. (Lately I've been seeing things saying people are doing it with the wrong intention-to make themselves feel better about themselves. Maybe so. But do you think the hobo cares? ) Talk to the kid who's alone at school. Seriously what could it hurt? Heck- go give somebody an oreo!!!!!! I saw that oreo commercial where Owl City sings about giving oreos to vampires and stuff and I really want to go give people oreos now. Just to smile and hand someone a cookie who looks stressed. That sounds like so much fun, me and Lily will be doing that when she comes to visit.

Yup-super long ramble but I don't regret anything I said. Jack frost and Erza(sp?) are siblings not lovers, male hookers should not let their pimps smack women then walk away without helping her, im okay with showing my emotions no matter how silly or stupid or needy or whiny my emotion might be and go be nice to somebody, you never know how badly they need it.. Yup I'm good with that. Goodnight all- or good day or JOLLY GOOD SHOW OLE CHAP!

Comment(pleaseprettypleasepuhleasewithpowderedsugarandchocolateandsprinklesontop!) and even if you don't comment(youtotallyshouldtho.likeseriously.commentpeople.please) enjoy this bunch of random images of random awesomeness!!!

Oh and a link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=anbKfiJS4m8